Pack 'n' Brew

Back in the fifties, my family would frequently visit our cousins across the St. Croix in Hudson, Wisconsin. I remember those Sundays in the fall when my uncle’s eyes were glued to the black and white TV while Bart Starr and Paul Hornung took on their rivals in the fledgling NFL. Then in the sixties, we Minnesotans got a franchise and even though the purple team was a mere 30 miles from our nearby Wisconsin neighbors, the St. Croix defined the loyalty line. And each year, the Packers made a trip to Minneapolis to play our Vikings. They stayed at the Hopkins House and around midnight, they would order a few large pizzas delivered to their party room. I brought pizza to Paul Hornung, Max McGee, Ray Nitchske, and a few others who I didn’t recognize without a jersey number. Yes, they had a few libations, but no one was sloppy. I never saw Bart Starr or Vince Lombardi at the party. But I was pretty amazed at how those guys could party hearty on Saturday night, and then knock off our Vikings 12 hours later. But the size of the tip to the pizza guy made me a bit of a Packer fan, and the Vikings got even a few years later when the Purple People Eaters matched up against the Cheesy Pizza Eaters.
Much later in life, my district employment responsibility took me to Green Bay once or twice a year. The city of Green Bay is situated on the tip of the aptly named Green Bay, a large arm of Lake Michigan. If you get there, your first stop has to be the Prime Quarter restaurant on Oneida Avenue, about a mile west of Lambeau Field. There for about $18.00 - $25.00, you select your own cut of meat from the cooler, and cook it yourself over a large open pit barbeque. Of course treat yourself to salad and bread from the salad bar, and a potato from the steam table. By the way, the salad bar is not the only “bar” in the restaurant. If I lived in Green Bay, I think I would be broke, happy, and forty pounds heavier. But what a clever idea for a restaurant. Tell the customer to cook their own meal and they keep coming back for more.
But the citizens of Green Bay are fervent about their football team. Sure, they may have a passing interest in the Brewers and Bucks a hundred miles south, but the Packers are Green Bay’s only true local major league sport, and on those autumn Sundays when Lambeau is alive, the rest of the town is quiet as a golf course at 4:00 AM. You can here a pin drop. There are at least ten bowling centers in Green Bay, and many folks without a ticket can get a good seat near a big screen TV to take in the game and maybe here a pin drop.
Speaking of the Brewers, the Twins pretty much had their way with them since 2001, getting even with Bud Selig for suggesting contraction. But now the Brew Crew is on their way to post season, and they have the Twins whining about the unbalanced schedule that requires them to play the Brewers while the White Sox get to play the hapless Cubs. Personally, I think Milwaukee moving to the National League was very bad for the Twins. I enjoyed many games at the Met when the Brewers were in town and all the Wisconsin folks would cross the St. Croix to boo Cecil Cooper. But this year, Ryan Braun is my choice for NL MVP, and good luck to those Brewers in the playoffs. And for all Vikings fans, coaches, players, and cheerleaders: If you have learned one thing about this year’s Packers, Do not, under any circumstance, kick any kickoff or punt, anywhere near Randall Cobb.

Next Year

It’s been a brutal season for baseball fans in Minnesota, and my sympathies go out to those who spent thousands of dollars on season tickets, only to watch the Rochester Red Wings playing in Twins uniforms. Target field can be an attraction for only so long, and I think that era is over. (see: Metrodome - 1983). So the powers that be in the front office better devise a plan in a hurry to keep us from reliving the 90’s. Speaking of the front office, rumor has it that Andy McPhail will not be returning to the Orioles. Could be a decent replacement for Bill Smith. Andy brought us our first World Champion in 1987.
Next, we need to get rid of the 1961 era home uniforms. The Twins were about 70 - 90 in 1961, and our boys are closing in on those numbers again. Next, I think all the players can afford razor blades. As much as I H8 NY, You never see a Yankee looking like he’s standing in line at the soup kitchen.
We’re going to need some new players. First, we should trade our entire pitching staff plus a player to be named later, to Philadelphia for their pitchers. Next we could maybe trade Alexi Casilla to Atlanta for Dan (His name is) Uggla. Before we make the Phillie deal, we need to trade Matt Capps back to the Nationals for Wilson Ramos. It’s only fair, they did it to us last year. Then we need to trade Jim Hoey to Baltimore for J.J. Hardy. Again, turnabout is fair play, if the Orioles don’t like it, we could toss Nishioka in with the deal. We need to keep Mauer and Morneau. Not that they’ll be any better next year, but I have a slug of their baseball cards that I need to sell first. (I have Johan, Torii, and Delmon cards for sale - 12 for $1.00 if your interested.)
We need to talk with Trader Jack McKeon of the Marlins. Maybe we can trade Jason Repko or one of our Rene’s for Mike Stanton. The guy is 22 and has Pulholsian numbers! Speaking of Prince Albert, sign him for 8 years and put him to work. May as well go after Prince Fielder also. We’ll go with 5 first basemen next year, what the heck.
I hope you all enjoy the Labor day weekend. I never figured out why it’s called Labor Day, and then 90 per cent of the population get the day off work, but enjoy. A few bowling leagues have started, and most others will kick off soon. Here’s hoping you have a great season, and by the time you make it to the April rolloffs, our Twins will be organizing T-Shirts, fishing lures, and bobble heads to try to fill Target Field. And the earth will be making another trip around the sun.

Mount Bowlmore

Our neighboring state of South Dakota has a number of attractions suitable for a mini vacation that’s easier on the budget than Las Vegas or Reno, for example. Cruising along I-90 west of Sioux Falls, you can stop and see the Corn Palace in Mitchell. Keep going toward the spectacular views of the Missouri River at Chamberlain. Go north a ways to the state capital, Pierre and visit the historical underground museum, with artifacts only seen earlier in “Dances With Wolves”. Back on I-90, stop at Wall Drug for some free ice water, and if you’re on your Harley, it’s about that time of year for the annual gathering in Sturgis. Amazing how 50,000 motorcycles can turn a small South Dakota town into Woodstock.
But, just south of Rapid City lies a mountain that draws about 3 million tourists every year. Who would have thought to carve four U. S. President’s heads into the side of a mountain? The answer is Doane Robinson who came up with the idea to attract tourism. After running it by local and national government officials, including President Coolidge, a man named Gutzon Borglum was commissioned to design and carve the faces on a mountain in the Black Hills. Work was started in 1927 and over 400 workers spent time on the project. Mr. Borglum died in 1941, a few months before the project was deemed complete on October 31, 1941. It is now considered one of the seven man made wonders of the world, along with the Egyptian pyramids, the San Francisco cable car system, St. Louis Gateway to the West Arch, the Harley Davidson Knucklehead, Target Field, and the Virtual Gravity Nano.
But, back to South Dakota. If you turned left at Sioux Falls, you could find yourself in Yankton, home of the Yankton Bowl Family Fun Center, operated by my good friend Patricia and her husband Tony Benjamin.
I have never been to Yankton, myself, but I thought it might be a good idea to find a mountain around this fine bowling community and commission a guy with a chisel to carve “Mount Bowlmore”, sure to bring thousands of bowling tourists to stop on their way to Las Vegas, Reno, Deadwood, or Sturgis. I have decided on three of the four faces to be carved in the mountain site, Dick Weber, Earl Anthony, Walter Ray Williams Jr., (Wally the Bowlman). But I am having trouble coming up with a fourth. So please go to the mnbowling forum and cast your opinion so we can get this project started. Go ahead and have some fun with it.