Mount Bowlmore

Our neighboring state of South Dakota has a number of attractions suitable for a mini vacation that’s easier on the budget than Las Vegas or Reno, for example. Cruising along I-90 west of Sioux Falls, you can stop and see the Corn Palace in Mitchell. Keep going toward the spectacular views of the Missouri River at Chamberlain. Go north a ways to the state capital, Pierre and visit the historical underground museum, with artifacts only seen earlier in “Dances With Wolves”. Back on I-90, stop at Wall Drug for some free ice water, and if you’re on your Harley, it’s about that time of year for the annual gathering in Sturgis. Amazing how 50,000 motorcycles can turn a small South Dakota town into Woodstock.
But, just south of Rapid City lies a mountain that draws about 3 million tourists every year. Who would have thought to carve four U. S. President’s heads into the side of a mountain? The answer is Doane Robinson who came up with the idea to attract tourism. After running it by local and national government officials, including President Coolidge, a man named Gutzon Borglum was commissioned to design and carve the faces on a mountain in the Black Hills. Work was started in 1927 and over 400 workers spent time on the project. Mr. Borglum died in 1941, a few months before the project was deemed complete on October 31, 1941. It is now considered one of the seven man made wonders of the world, along with the Egyptian pyramids, the San Francisco cable car system, St. Louis Gateway to the West Arch, the Harley Davidson Knucklehead, Target Field, and the Virtual Gravity Nano.
But, back to South Dakota. If you turned left at Sioux Falls, you could find yourself in Yankton, home of the Yankton Bowl Family Fun Center, operated by my good friend Patricia and her husband Tony Benjamin.
I have never been to Yankton, myself, but I thought it might be a good idea to find a mountain around this fine bowling community and commission a guy with a chisel to carve “Mount Bowlmore”, sure to bring thousands of bowling tourists to stop on their way to Las Vegas, Reno, Deadwood, or Sturgis. I have decided on three of the four faces to be carved in the mountain site, Dick Weber, Earl Anthony, Walter Ray Williams Jr., (Wally the Bowlman). But I am having trouble coming up with a fourth. So please go to the mnbowling forum and cast your opinion so we can get this project started. Go ahead and have some fun with it.

The Day the Music Died

February 3, 2009 is the 50th year anniversary of the tragic incident in Mason City Iowa. Three young performers, who had contributed to the birth of Rock and Roll music went down in a Beechcraft Bonanza after playing to a sold out Groundhog day audience at the Surf Ballroom in Clear Lake. Buddy Holly was tired of the dilapitated bus used to tour the upper Midwest and had chartered the plane for his band. The seat originally reserved for bass player Waylon Jennings was given to the Big Bopper, J.P. Richardson who was suffering from a bad cold. I wrote about this on mnbowling on the morning of the 3rd. In the evening I proceeded to my league night at the Mermaid Lanes in Moundsview, MN.

The lanes seemed to hook a little more than usual. After starting with a double, I failed to trust my shot in frames three and four and left two big splits. Later I made the adjustment too much and left a 2-4-5-7-8 and chopped it for my third open of the game to finish with 170. The second game I locked in and my first six balls were in the pocket but produced only one strike, 3 ten pins, a shaker 7 and a stone 8. I don't know what changed, but I finished that game with six strikes, and proceeded to tack on 12 more in the third game for 300. A memorable date, now for two reasons.

Tie Breaker

Tiebreaker
‘Tis the season to be jolly. Deck the halls with holly and mistletoe, sing “Auld Lang Syne” to your old acquaintances, and roast chestnuts by the open fire while discussing the tiebreaker system for playoff positions in the NFL. ESPN and other sports networks can sometimes devote an hour show to the playoff possibilities. I wanted to explain the NFL system in this article, but it occurred to me that I have no idea what it is.
Recently in an MSC tournament, I was involved in a tiebreaker. Normally in the cashing positions, the prize money is divided equally among the competitors, however in the event that the tie involves the stepladder, tiebreaker rules take effect. I found myself tied with the benevolent Mr. Lindquist for the sixth position in the tournament, and since we had not had a head to head match that day, the second tiebreaker was based on scratch score before match play bonuses. Jim had the edge there so I happily accepted the 7th position. I always respect my elders. Besides, the next tiebreaker level in the Midwest Senior Classic was number of natural teeth in your mouth, and Jim would have had me there also. One of my colleagues suggested we strip down to our shorts, guzzle a beer, and race one lap around the parking lot of the bowling center. The temperature was about zero, and we Norwegians don’t normally indulge in those shenanigans unless it’s at least 10 below, so that was out.
But some other tie breaking possibilities came to mind for future situations:
Who can hold the most filets of lutefisk in one hand. Generally the guy with the longest fingernails would prevail with a total of one.
The best rendition of “New York, New York”, sung in the karaoke bar wearing a Packers number 4 jersey.
I found out this year you can actually break a tie that doesn’t exist by recounting all the votes, as long as there is a lot of arguing, bickering, and litigation to accompany the action.
You could also break a tie by guessing closest to the number of times Nick Punto pops up or bunts foul. It would probably take too long to determine the outcome, but it would at least be settled before the aforementioned recount thing.
Flipping a coin is a bit generic, but always popular. The problem there is in this economy, who has a coin?
But there is a moral to the story. For tournament directors and promoters, have a plan in place to keep everyone happy in case of a tie. It’s not something you want to decide after the tie occurs. And for tournament players, remember what your mother taught you years ago. Always wear clean underwear, in case you’re tied with a fellow Norwegian and a guy from Wisconsin is making the rules.
Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays !!

Foot in Mouth

I have to say I was not a big Delmon Young fan, but I think he could be a big asset to the Twins offense, meanwhile, Michael Cuddyer is a great person with a great arm, but has only proven that he gets hurt a lot, and sometimes hits better than Nick Punto. Carlos K-mez is in the same boat as Delmon, potential, but not instant stardom. For Gardy to pick his outfield at the end of November is unbelievable, something only an okie would do. What a terrible thing to do to a team. I don't care what you think, Gardy, but you go to the media and tell them that you have great outfielders, you know only three can play at a time, and it's a nice problem to have, blah, blah, blah. Crap, didn't you ever see "Bull Durham"? And where does Jason Kubel fit. Look at the scorebook. Kubel's defense is so so, but even with limited playing time, he was number two on the Twins home run list last year. Don't you think he's earned a few more at bats? Geez

Poor Boy

The earliest years of my life, learning to walk and talk, were spent in a brownstone fourplex, a couple of blocks from Plymouth and Lyndale in North Minneapolis. We didn’t have a sand box, but the cinder pile of spent coal in the back provided a play area for us. Many people of color lived in a neighborhood north of us along Broadway. My mother taught me that they were to be called “gentle people”. These were the days when George Mikan was the tallest player in the NBA, Jackie Robinson and Luke Easter were the only African American players in the major leagues, and American Bowling Congress had not yet opened the membership door to black bowlers.
In the 50s, my family moved to Hopkins, and growing into the exploratory age, my friends and I located the two dumps in the city. There was the Red Owl dump, full of plywood and pallet wood great for making treehouses. The Hopkins city dump had a myriad of treasures. We once got an old bicycle frame, pedals and sprockets, a couple of wheels with only a few spokes missing, and with a couple of bucks at the hardware store we added tires, a few bolts, and a lot of oil and rebuilt a bike. Add a clothespin and a Bill Tuttle baseball card and we could make it sound like a motor bike.
A little older and us poor but honest white kids found we could earn money picking raspberries or carrying golf bags at the local country club. Once a couple of black kids came to the caddy shack but they were turned away. The caddy master said he already had enough caddies, but we knew it was a lie. We knew the real reason, but we were 13 and our opinion didn’t matter. In 1967, my old Plymouth and Lyndale neighborhood was ravaged by protests and rioting. I didn’t agree with the methods, but I did sympathize with the cause. Later I was drafted and spent several months at the Army Hospital in Fort Campbell, Kentucky, about 40 miles north of Nashville, TN. I had many new friends of all races and creeds who each were serving our country as best they could. It was there in April of 1968 that I came to really understand the ugliness of racism. Many of my aforementioned black friends wouldn’t speak to me for weeks after that dark April 4th day in Tennessee.
Some wounds take time to heal, and I’m not sure if this one ever totally will. But as we have upgraded ourselves from the city dump in Hopkins, to the high speed internet of today, we find ourselves forty years later welcoming Barack Obama and his message of change, ironically to the “White” house. As for me, I never would have dreamed in my lifetime that the United States would elect a president with a bowling average of 37. God Bless America

What would Paul Simon Say

The problem is all inside your head he said to me,
The answer is easy if you take it logically,
How can I help you in your struggle to be free,
There must be 50 ways to lose a ball game.

Error on the pick, Nick,
Error on the throw, Joe,
Hit it off the roof, off Boof,
Just listen to me.

No need to rush, Busch
Make Raul hit it foul, Ya'll
50 ways to lose a ball game

It's getting Uggla out there

I hope the Twins don't think it's "all better" just because they're coming home. They really need to raise the level of play if they expect to play in October. This is not the team of destiny as in 1987. Simple defensive gaffs have lost more than a few games. The hits are coming with bases empty. Relief pitching is a joke. Time for Gardy to end his love affair with Punto and Everyday Eddie. I wonder how much Texas would charge us to take him back. Bill Smith, your first year has given us Craig Monroe, Mike Lamb, Brendan Harris, Adam Everett, and Carlos K-mez.

Span, Buscher, Perkins, Slowey, Mauer, Morneau, and Kubel came through our system. Does that tell you anything? Learn from the mistakes. Good luck in September.